Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
