i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
