just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
