ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
