Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
