ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
