i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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