I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
