i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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