listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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