i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
