your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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