I showed him my bush... on skype.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
