nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
