Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
