Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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