I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
