This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
