just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You made out with two different species that night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
