I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
