I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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