Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
