got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
