Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
