Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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