So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize