I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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