some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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