Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You need a sexual gate keeper
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
