How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
