I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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