Can Purell be used as lube?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
