Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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