i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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