i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize