she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
