he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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