i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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