butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
