I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
