I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
