you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
