I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
