I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
