He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
