So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
