i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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