I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
