You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
