in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
