I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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