i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
